Dive in with Amy - Dave Beck
[00:00:04] We are all unique and have our own personal story. So dive in with me and let's get to know some extraordinary people. This week's episode we sit down with one of my favorite cousins Dave Beck. We talk about his upbringing and experiences that have shaped him to be the successful hardworking person he is today. I hope you enjoy the episode. I sure did.
[00:00:39] Dave Beck my dear cousin. All right. Dive in.
[00:00:44] Let's dive in.
[00:00:47] They do it's out town is out there is that we haven't even started and he's already got me laughing.
[00:00:51] You guys were fairly you guys were fairly crazy especially like you and Alison and Tricia and then of course once your sisters were like All in the mix then yes you did some crazy things.
[00:01:05] We had fun now. Allison Trisha or your dear sister.
[00:01:08] Yeah. Little Sisters my cousins. Yeah. And they were still at middle school. Yeah and I was there. That's the crazy part. I think about Tricia and I think about her running around with a couple of college girls. And then all the shenanigans that you. Well and we used to get in trouble. Yes. And your mom would ground Tricia but guess what. She was grounded but she could hang out with her cousin. Yeah. So once you got her daughter grounded That's right. That's right. I laughed my head off because I think about all of the ways that you guys would push the limits. You know Allie and Tricia where they get these boyfriends are like Hey we're gonna try this waxing thing on you guys right. Wax their armpits and wax their eyebrows off and like anything they can do to push the limits and these ideas would do it. I could never understand it they would never do that.
[00:01:47] So funny. Those were the highlights of my college years. Honestly probably not probably the highlights of my college years which just being around your family and the in her. OK. What I may ask you a question. Let's go. Your worst childhood memory. Oh there's a lot of them.
[00:02:06] I was the one I had planned to ask you your best. That was my next question. But I know it just now to change it.
[00:02:15] The worst the worst was like a reoccurring event of me making stupid decisions. OK. And then just getting beat OK. Like nowadays you can't do what they did when I was a kid. Right. It does it doesn't work. You get CPS called on you and then your kids get taken away and all that.
[00:02:32] But OK. So you do stupid stuff. Yes lots of it. And you'd get beat by who.
[00:02:37] Oh my mother primarily yeah love my mother do that she's the best best woman in the entire world. I love her dearly.
[00:02:43] You know my thoughts on her. Yes I do. She's my favorite at best. Yes. She was my matron of honor and honor at my wedding. Love it. I love your back.
[00:02:50] My mom's the best. Yes. Now here's the thing. Some people when I say my mother beat me like your mother didn't beat you now legitimately. My mother beat me OK like oh man she beat me hard. OK. But I admit that I deserved it. You know and so she did what she had to do because I frustrated her badly. I frustrated her to the point that she would like she just well on me how many are you going to do.
[00:03:17] OK. So you're one of eight one of eight. What number are you. I'm number six. Do you think you were her most difficult child.
[00:03:24] Not at all. Stephen was a lot worse than I was. My older brother her oldest I guess. OK. But we were all we were difficult in different ways. Right. So I was just super rambunctious and I was always mischievous. But then we had other I have other siblings that have their own things right.
[00:03:41] So do you remember one particular instance where you just got beat. I mean she just beat the hell out of you and I don't know.
[00:03:51] They all kind of just go together you know. I mean I chuckle because I really don't have much feeling in my ears anymore because she would grab you here and she'd lift it or she pull your hair on the back of your neck and like you would just scream because it hurt so bad. But that doesn't get to the point where you're immune to it. It's terrific. It's like an inoculation of sorts you know. But there were I mean there were a few different things. Most of them revolved around getting calls on a daily basis from the principal. You know I went to I went to an elementary school my principal was Grady Haddonfield. He was this bald guy that I'd make comments to him about like waxing his head I'd get in big trouble on that. It was offensive. I didn't know whatever I thought was hilarious. It was funny but it was still offensive. All right. But then I would do things at school that would give me in lots of trouble so like almost every single day I'd be in the principal's office.
[00:04:42] And so do you feel like your mom. I mean it sounds like your mom was the one that was a little more hands on in terms of beating you. Where's your dad now.
[00:04:52] She was the one that was at the crossroads right. She was the one that during the day that would be at work. She would get the phone call. Right. So she was one that had to kind of deal with it. But then after school hours that's when dad would come in.
[00:05:07] And were you always nervous for when your dad would get home only when it was really bad.
[00:05:11] If it was really bad she'd be like would you dad get home and then you're like oh great here comes the belt right. Yes. It's a real thing. But you know my dad he could he could make it bring the hardwood to there's no doubt about it you know.
[00:05:28] So he was a teacher and then after school we would change from our school clothes into our work clothes and we would go and do landscaping. That was like his side job how to make How to Make Money feed eight kids right. Right. Family. And so when we were on a job if you made him mad. Then he'd like take a swipe at you with like the handle of a shovel or something you know. And so you learn how to be really quick on your feet you know.
[00:05:54] So how young were you when you started going and working with your dad on the site jobs.
[00:05:59] I don't know. I mean four or five something of that nature.
[00:06:02] We are really young I think all of you back kids have a very strong word that work ethic. You're all very hard workers.
[00:06:09] Yeah. We didn't have a choice. We did we didn't know that we had an option to not work right. Right now my dad was the son of a farmer. My mom was the daughter of a rancher. What do you do. You can go to work right. Right. They didn't take no thank you for an answer. Right. They told you to do it and you did it. It was just you know. Yeah.
[00:06:30] They say jump you say How high. Right. Exactly. How grateful are you right now. Being an adult. Being a father of four. How grateful are you for those weapons that your parents gave you back in the day.
[00:06:42] Honestly I couldn't be more grateful. I couldn't.
[00:06:45] You know a couple of years ago I was asked to speak in church on a Mother's Day which was like the worst day to speak in church right because you can't tell them how to do it or are you. You get in trouble right and you can't tell them how they did it right. Are in trouble for that. Like there's no good way to do it. But I just relayed the fact that like my mother beat me just like I already have tonight. But at the end I talked about how grateful I was because she maybe didn't realize it at the time. I think she was just frustrated which why she did it.
[00:07:14] But I think that's what I needed right. And so I look back at the fact that I think my parents could have done everything that they did easier by doing it on their own.
[00:07:28] But they made us participate and I think they took the harder path to teach us how to go to work and how to achieve things how to be disappointed and get over it. Right. You know they've taught us that you know not everybody. I mean today everybody gets a participation ribbon right. Back then it wasn't like that. You might try really hard and you might fail but that was OK. You know you get up and you try again and you try again. And we were always taught we could have anything in life if we were willing to work for it. And you know I think that I think that's one of the greatest lessons that they gave us.
[00:08:07] Yeah absolutely. So nothing was ever just handed to you. You had to work for it. We worked for you. So my husband in our church he there was a time a few years ago that he was involved in working with the young men. So like ages 12 to 16 we're going doing like does activities and help building them up and camp outs and whatnot. And I remember him he would always come home and say these kids are a bunch of wusses. They don't know how to work. Everything has happened to them. And it's true. And so nowadays we have to be very careful about that.
[00:08:53] For kids oh my kids are not like they're not treated the way I was treated.
[00:08:59] So you're you're not beating your kids. I'm trying to get that clear I'm not here. All right kids are tough sometimes kids can be really frustrating right. They may be your greatest joy but they also may be your greatest frustration. They may be your greatest disappointment at times.
[00:09:16] But I mean truthfully I've been very blessed. I've got a terrific wife. I have wonderful kids but I have not created this scene. I call called a construct that my parents have. You know they took us to work right. And I have not done that. Something that I think about is something that I wish that I could do a better job of is bringing them into scenarios in which they will learn how to work. They'll learn how to deal with disappointment. They'll learn how to deal with success. Right. Right. Exactly how to be well-rounded and how to be able to have kind of that that drive and determination to go make something of yourself right.
[00:09:58] Well I'm sure kids see that you may not have. You may not be taking them out on your side house right now or taking them with you to your job but they're watching you they're watching because you're a hard worker and you're always out there and you're you're not just a hard worker providing for your family but you're just a good guy. And I guarantee you're always helping other people. They're seeing it. Yeah they see it. Maybe not to an extent that you did with your parents but in a way they're seeing it. I would have to imagine.
[00:10:24] I think they see it but I also think that it's more impactful if you can involve them. Yeah. No I agree that's something that I agree on and that's something that I would like to do better.
[00:10:32] OK do it. Absolutely.
[00:10:35] OK. So going back to your childhood you're my guys and you know I adore you. So the back. So we always had a very strong bond with the banks. Absolutely. I grew up in a little town calledSt. Johns Arizona northern Arizona. And you lived in a town called Provo Utah Utah. And so we did see you all the time but we saw you a couple times of year a year and some of my most fondest memories growing up were spending a week or two with you guys in the summer in Provo. And I remember we'd pull in and really late at night go straight to your basement and we just had so much fun with you.
[00:11:14] That was one of my favorite memories with your mom. This is where I saw it first had your mom beat someone probably you could have and it was you. I was sure. I actually she wasn't beating on you guys but she let you guys have it. And you took the brunt of something that me and your sisters were doing. So I don't know if you remember this but a long time.
[00:11:39] I mean this was probably nineteen eighty something okay. Your mom called everybody in the family room downstairs and she let those boys have it for having pee on the toilet. She.
[00:11:51] Is so mad because she was sick of seeing pee on the toilet surely. Well your sisters and I we were trying to pee like boys. We were trying to figure out like we it was a game. So we'd had a goal we would have to go bathroom and we'd stand up and try to pee like boys. And it was us getting a little weird.
[00:12:10] I don't think I realized that 10 years later. Yeah.
[00:12:13] We never said anything. And I just remember sitting there and kind of chuckling inside me feeling a little guilty because she let you boys have a shower bad for sure. Bad.
[00:12:24] There's. I don't remember it but I remember hearing it. I don't think I was there but the time. Can you tell the story the time where your mom was chasing Jeff was it you and Jeffrey Jeff and Russell would be Jeff and watching movie Jeff and remember that.
[00:12:38] I mean honestly which time right.
[00:12:42] My mom got to the point that she would stop using wooden spoons because she'd break them right. And then not only would she be upset that she broke. She'd be upset that like it cost her money to have to go buy a new spin. So she changed from wooden spoons to Fleiss waters. So we had all these little metal Fleiss waters right.
[00:13:01] I remember those they were all they were all baton crooked because after she'd wacky a few times they'd be bent and then she'd sit down and you know she's got a lot of her father in her she's very precise even her mother was the same way too.
[00:13:13] But she see if she can get the things straightened back out but it was always just a little bit. It's hilarious you know. All right. Lots of memories tied up in those Fleiss waters but ultimately going pretty good.
[00:13:22] Yeah but raising eight kids. I'm telling you it takes a saint and a super too. Oh absolutely. But I want to be very careful on this episode because we talk about your mom. She is a wonderful woman. No I am not. I'm not painting a bad picture I'm just laughing because it's so funny like being an adult looking back we're sure for sure now.
[00:13:40] I mean have a chuckle about it nowadays. Like one of my favorite things as we started getting my mom talking about how she would beat us and she laughs her head off right. I think sometimes she might feel a touch bad maybe right.
[00:13:53] Maybe. But the way that she gets laughing as we talk about these experiences it's very endearing I love. Yeah but I think you're right. I mean it's kind of a touchy subject sometimes just generally speaking right. But I will stand firm with one thing. I think it's what I needed. Yes. And I don't I don't I don't think that I would be the same without my upbringing. And there is not a better mother in the world than my mother. And I love her dearly. She's absolutely the best.
[00:14:27] I couldn't agree more. She's awesome. Yeah. Love love love her. Yes. And question Do you spank your kids.
[00:14:34] Yes I do see there is balance in all things.
[00:14:38] Qantas chooses not to. Okay. So I choose to do it.
[00:14:41] Yeah right. But she supports your decision. Not so much as that but I don't support her decision right. And that's all we have to you know. Not both sides can be on the teeter totter at the same time right.
[00:14:55] Exactly. Has that been a point of contention in your marriage. Oh a little bit because I'm assuming Qantas was probably brought up in a different different type of household will she be is a kid. Now she knows she is a kid. This does sound so off on me. She was a spanked as a kid. OK. Thank you because I didn't like the way that just came off.
[00:15:13] Here's the thing you have to understand is that some people Qantas included just do the right thing because it's the right thing. Right. She's just so pure in heart. I'm not the same way. I had to take a couple Liggins to figure out that wasn't the right thing to do right.
[00:15:28] But you know you benefited from it. Yeah I mean you got to learn a lesson somehow some people just learn it more quickly or more easily.
[00:15:35] Do you feel that maybe one or two of your kids might learn better by a spanking versus a good talking to. Oh of course absolutely. Because I feel like every kid is different from me. I remember we'd get in trouble.
[00:15:50] I don't know if you remember this Jeff Jeff got spanked. He probably added the words of all seven kids in my family. So my parents had the four boys and then three girls. Yes. By the time they got to the three girls they'd soften up. Right. They'd worn them out before. Oh absolutely. I remember my dad saying we'd get trouble. I'm gonna come in in a few minutes and spank you. You know we do we put rags in our pants. Yes. Or I remember we put in a book in our pants and then we'd go and my dad would spank us. And I thought I had him for it.
[00:16:20] Yeah he knew it. You know. Yeah.
[00:16:22] He just didn't have large. So I take it out of my. Yeah. Yeah yeah. Yeah. Anyway it's just it's it's interesting.
[00:16:33] I bring it. Kids feel you're the six six six of eight do you feel that your mom had softened on you compared. Do you feel like you're older siblings. So you're oldest the oldest boy stealer and then Russ do you feel like the older siblings had a little little worse than you or do you feel like your mom was pretty consistent with all of you.
[00:16:51] I don't know I think there's broad consensus amongst our family members that my mom softened after me after you. Yes. So my two younger sisters Alison and Tricia really just kind of coasted through you know. Yeah but I think having a kids is really hard work. Oh yeah. And so I think that we wore my mom out really.
[00:17:15] OK. Well let's talk about your mom. OK. Not only she's superwoman raising kids. Let's talk about. Talk to me about her health and how how that played into it. Yeah. Would you ever know your mom had the health issues she had. No never talk to me about your mom.
[00:17:30] So my mom has cystic fibrosis and I don't think even as a kid we realized how serious of the condition that is.
[00:17:41] Right. Right.
[00:17:43] I've had two people even as an adult you know talk about hey I have a mother that has cystic fibrosis and they're like there's no way it's impossible. I'm like well my mom's my mom's got it.
[00:17:52] And so yeah you know.
[00:17:56] But there were there were funny times right I remember once when I was in seventh grade I was having some behavior issues at school right. Go figure. And my response to the teacher was something about how my mom was in the hospital because she was in. She was up at the hospital at the University of Utah for like two weeks of treatment. And the teacher didn't know. Right. She had no idea what was going on. But obviously I made it bigger than maybe I should have. And so the teacher felt really good at. Yeah. Milk in it. I was there Demi right. But the teacher felt really really bad about the situation so she like made contact my parents which I didn't really think about beforehand. And they're like well you know it's not like this is a chronic issue it's not something that just popped up right. Yeah. I don't. I don't know. That's that's an interesting thing because it's not something that we dwelled on a lot in our family I mean we knew it.
[00:18:55] It's all.
[00:18:55] It's always been something that has been part of us and that's probably because your mom didn't let that slow her down. Not at all. Clearly not at all. And that's a serious disease. Absolutely. And then her little sister. Janice. Yes. Also had CFS. She passed away I believe at the age of 55. It's been about ten years. All right it's almost ten years. Nine years ago. Yeah. So she was wonderful. And both those little ladies are Edie small little ladies Spitfire. Oh yeah. And you just never guess until you got in the. There's just something about a hall girl laugh my ass. Yes. All of them. Yes. When they get storytelling they get this laugh and it is so contagious. Yes. And I'll never forget you here just laughing laughing and then after the laughing coughing they start coughing. But you know what I do that a lot too. Really. And it's to be something in our genes. I like if I laugh a lot a lot a lot I'll end coffee nuts. I do not have CFS. I am a carrier but I don't have that yet. But yeah. So that's very interesting. I remember going to family unions and your mom would have take with her the big vest that she would get it. I mean it was his big red vest. Well she's had she's had a few. I remember the first one that I remember this big round vest that she'd get in it and it would just like vibrate and shake her right. Is it to shake the stuff out of the lungs are they clear out the lungs and all the mucus out of the lungs. Yeah. And I remember she had let kids take turns and now we start we learn how much fun with that. Yeah yeah. That's interesting. Wow. OK now I really my intention and I want to ask this question now. What is your favorite childhood memory. Because I know you had a lovely child. I so I didn't I didn't ask that question to start it off on a negative surely surely. And then I might answer the question because it was great.
[00:20:45] I feel a little behinds though that you look back and at the time you think the negative things in life are the bad things. Right. But I think it takes a little bit of perspective to understand that sometimes your hardest childhood memories are like the greatest things we were ever given the most influential mind. So they have shaped you. Absolutely. Now I'm not one on like what's the worst and what's the best. Yeah because I tend to just kind of clump it all together. I just share Sure. As a as a family we worked a lot. My dad would always say work hard and play hard but then we'd never really played a lot. Right. It was mostly work but I think oftentimes we we learned how to just enjoy it while we were working. You know. Well something I was thinking about in this I don't think this is like that's really the greatest childhood memory that I ever had but the last few days have been reminiscing. You talk about coming to Utah we would talk about coming to Arizona. We love to come on the 24th right July and in just like have all the family together and just have lots and lots of fun. I don't recall how old I was probably eighth grade or ninth grade or something like that but I was brought down to Arizona and I was able to spend two or three weeks with grandpa and we went out and mended fence and we went out and fixed a a windmill pump for the watering the cows and we drove all over Apache County everywhere you know. And that was one of those things that was super neat. You know there when we would come to town we would get to spend time with everybody but very rarely having not lived inSt. John's and I get like one on one time right. And that's something that over the last need to know a little while I thought a lot about and you know that's just one of those things we we have we need to be more thankful maybe for the terrific people that came before us.
[00:22:40] Absolutely. And of course we're biased but we had some pretty fantastic people.
[00:22:46] Yes we are biased but at the same time they stand alone. There's no doubt about.
[00:22:49] Yeah they're awesome. Yeah yeah. That's awesome.
[00:22:52] It makes me miss grandpa. Nrama And see I was fair I was 14 when grandma passed away and my memories with Grandma Hall I have a few memories of her. Like what she'd watch us and drive us around when she was healthy. Yeah so she suffered from several strokes and eventually became incapacitated and a fairly young age. I think probably in her 60s I would imagine that later as she wishes this small little dainty lady. Very small. Yes I actually have one of her coats that Grandpa gave me and I put it on and it's like it was made for me. I'm not distinct as she is but in terms of the height but the arms my coats that I buy are always very the arms are always slim for me. I put this coat on and it was made for me. Well she must have had the same arm length as there. Or maybe she just liked hers a little short but anyway that's like one of my most prized possessions in that coat that Grandma. I remember I was inSt. John's with my dad and we were looking through some things and I saw this coat. I put it on and I said Grandpa and I I have this. He says I'm not going to wear it.
[00:23:58] So he gave he always had a terrific sense of humor.
[00:24:01] Oh yes. Remember his heat our grandpa kept his hip. He had a hip replacement and he kept his original. Yes in a mason jar. Yeah. How is. That's right. You ended up with the hip. I have no idea. We should find that out. Once we figured out who gonna give you a challenge you find out who got the hip. You got it. But he did.
[00:24:21] He kept me alive you know. But here's the thing is that yeah we might be biased but we. We couldn't have had better grandparents. Oh no. Yeah. I didn't see it because I was too young to recognize it but my mom would talk about Grandma and she'd be holding a conversation with whomever she was in the room with. She'd be typing 70 words a minute on her computer on her typewriter actually at the time and then she'd be on it on a telephone call taking care of work business all the same time. Yes you skip a beat. Right. You know and I think about that I think how amazing that is.
[00:24:55] Know so she was so sharp. There's one of the books our family history books somebody wrote that Grandpa once said Grandma was I think grandma was a little bit older than him. I believe so. Or wait maybe I'm know missing it up messing it up. But he basically said that she's 10 years smarter than me. That's awesome you know. And. He would always talk about that like how intelligent grandma was and Grandma was just so bright and he would acknowledge she was a lot smarter than me but he loved her for that. Oh yeah. And Drew you know I mean I just think that's so neat.
[00:25:29] I remember oftentimes we just be standing around or sitting around talking and she would say hey while we're talking why don't we do this. And then she would want to accomplish something while we were sitting there talking. There was just never there was never a moment where she wasn't being productive or getting something done. I think there's a good lesson in that.
[00:25:48] Yeah.
[00:25:49] And then one more thing on our grandma is she was like I mentioned she was short. She was a small little lady and her kitchen was like her stove was low. And I always tell Davey in our next house I'm customizing my kitchen because I'm all five feet of me. I get sick of climbing up on my covers to get something or having to call my husband who's six feet in to grab things for me. So I want to copy my grandma and customize a kitchen for a short put away like that. But I loved her kitchen and it was just small but she was a fantastic cook very much so. And there were a few years ago we started a cooking club that Lynnette and that's Lynnette is Dave's mom you know who is a fantastic cook just like my grandma. And we started a cooking club a family cooking club called Wanda's pantry and it was just so neat because it was just family we actually had a few friends join us who were like family. And we would just learn how to make grandma's recipes. Yeah my dad always tells me don't know if I should be offended by this actually I'm not I'm. This is the best compliment he's ever given me. He always tells me how much I remind him of my grandma. I'm not saying I'm smart I'm not nearly as dry singer phrases I reminders so much but he always says You remind me a lot of your my mom you're not as good of a cook as she is like you sure. I know a lot of room when he says I was like dang I'm going to learn I am going to master those roles I'm going to master that row so I can be as good of a cook. I will never be as good of a Kakashi as but I'll.
[00:27:18] Put your mind to it. You can do it.
[00:27:19] But the thing that was awesome about Grandma and Grandpa Hall is the fact that everything revolved around that kitchen. Yeah everything. Yeah. Where the day started that's where the day ended. That's where all the stories were told.
[00:27:31] That was the hub of the home and I love that I need to think about it when you went to grandma and grandpa's house. What door did you go and tell was one of the side you know and always went into the side doors the kitchen and into the kitchen.
[00:27:41] Yeah. Yeah yeah. Oh great memories. Yeah.
[00:27:44] All right. So we've reminisced a lot about our great our wonderful parents and grandparents. Well we haven't we've talked about your parents. OK. So who are outside of your mom and dad.
[00:27:57] Is there someone in your life that you would say has been the most influential frankly you know there's been a lot of people obviously that have come and gone throughout the years but I don't know that there's really one that sticks out.
[00:28:11] But if you went through like each time period of my life I can identify certain people that made a big impact let's talk maybe one of the first from when you were just a little kid um that's difficult. Um I don't uh.
[00:28:34] I don't know. I don't know.
[00:28:36] I know I know this and I don't recall names very well but I remember having a couple primary teachers that were just they they were just what I needed.
[00:28:48] You know what I mean.
[00:28:51] There are lots of stories told about me as a little kid right. We would we would go to church and I'd be sitting in primary and then primary psych class feel a little categories the class for little kids and we'd be in a group in the primary room right. So there'd be 30 or 40 little kids in there. And then when they would pray to start out the class I duck out. Right. So everybody close their eyes and I'd zip out of the room and I'd disappear in the middle of the prayer. And so instead of instead of it turning negative I had I had some that were like hey this OK we're going to play this game with him you know and so I was like I don't I don't recall a lot of the names if I saw them back I remember you.
[00:29:35] You're right. You know. Yeah. Think you're being nice to me. Yeah I'd like that. I feel like kids like us that work grew up in families with a lot of kids probably needed a little attention from time to time because you figure there certain kids that are gonna get a little more attention during different phases of their life. That's it. And so that's nice that those primary teachers are people like in school or just outside of the House or the home where they can recognize that and just give that attention for sure.
[00:30:04] Yeah I think about some of our family members though like both on my mother's on my father's side of the family. I mean I'll tell you I'll say this your mother is an example. I'm thankful that she didn't kill me. OK. Because there were a few things I did along the way that probably deserve to know her like her ring in my neck. But there was once there was one time at your house when I was like a young young teenager we were having a big water fight and I got a hold of the hose and I was spraying everybody and everybody ran into the house and so I came right in the back door and with the hose spraying and everybody inside of the house and I was just excited that I was getting everybody right.
[00:30:50] I didn't really. I didn't really. In the moment right. I didn't think too much about the fact that I'm in your house with a hose and I use spray and everything and everybody and Alison your mother walked around the corner and I was like I'm going to die today is my last day.
[00:31:07] But you know how did she respond to that. She wasn't very happy with me at all. She was she had a lot of you know she had a lot of fire there no doubt. But now here's the beauty of it. Now here we are 30 years later we can laugh about exactly exactly what I think that there are 40 grandkids on the Hall site.
[00:31:26] A lot of us I feel like we're all very close to all our aunts and uncles in a way. You know I mean like you we have to tell each other we had a tight knit family who had a tight knit family. We don't see each other that often but when we do there's just that connection and there's just something safe about being with the family. You know what I mean and those hugs from I just some of my best memories with my family are just those tight hugs from my uncles Uncle Rick. Oh yeah. Uncle josh I mean just your dad listening to your dad tell a good story and you just it's. Yeah. I feel very fortunate to come from such a large family a large loving family. Are we perfect. Absolutely not. But we all love each other and see but I don't know.
[00:32:11] There's something perfect about imperfection if that makes any sense. You know so I would say we have the perfect family now are we without flaws. No that is a good way to but. But every single family has a crazy. Every single family has broken this or of messed up that we all have it right. But I think that's the beauty of it is to be that family. Right. And to still be OK with you not only. Absolutely. So we all love each other. Oh we do. We root for each other. You know they tell jokes that are disparaging about each other and we all laugh and that's OK you're right. Like you said it. We feel safe.
[00:32:47] Absolutely. Yeah. That's that's beautiful. Now we're down. Do you remember our family reunion at Mount Lemmon in Arizona where we all had these red shirts and they said Halls of Fame the halls of fame Hall of Fame. We need to recreate those and I know we've talked about that several times. Or what was the one that Janice wanted to do a hell of a time. What was the one.
[00:33:10] There was somebody I remember. There was one aunt Janice always wanted to do like having a hall of a time or something. So something. Well I'm surprised you haven't cussed yet because I. OK that's fine because I asked you on and you said I said you could say whatever you want. And you said I might curse a little bit and I said it's in the blood in the halls woven into my tapestry.
[00:33:29] However you see here a lot of years ago almost 20 years ago I met Candace my wife now and one of the things that she'd been 20 years almost is not marriage you know. Right. But I remember when you met her.
[00:33:46] But early on we were on a date and I swore at some point in time it's just natural.
[00:33:51] You know. Yeah. The words just fall out. They don't write. They don't even think about it they just fall out. But she was like You know what I'd prefer if you didn't do that. And so like I try I'm not good. Yeah. You know that's awesome but sometimes it works really well and sometimes it doesn't.
[00:34:04] Yeah you know I would imagine when you're out working and you're putting forth a lot of energy and you know just working hard on something.
[00:34:12] Is that where it usually comes. No. I mean if something really really goes wrong then yes. Yes. You know that's get the proverbial you hit your finger where the hammer type of it. Yes exactly.
[00:34:23] But I mean honestly it's usually when we get the family to go Yeah yeah because there is a lot of words that are considered cuss words. Right. That when I grew up they weren't cuss words just like they were just everyday.
[00:34:37] Right. Exactly. You know what's interesting is my dad does not cost a lot. Which is surprising being from the family room.
[00:34:45] That is true. However I feel like I've heard him swear like on his own in the moment being mad or frustrated maybe once or twice and was probably a dam or a house.
[00:34:58] But I've heard him say a lot of other words when he's quoting people. Yes. Yeah. He's usually quoting a family member.
[00:35:03] Absolutely. All of your family stories have like dams and hills and ships and it seems like a lot of them.
[00:35:10] They say him over the pulpit is church.
[00:35:13] I grew up accustomed to hearing cuss words from the pulpit at church. And you know I mean you never know maybe I'll bring it back.
[00:35:22] Yes please please. No. But now it's all it's all good and innocent and fun but great family. Yeah great family wonderful family. Why do you if you're somebody was to ask was to ask your kids today what is the greatest lesson your dad has taught you meaning you have taught your kids so far do you think there's one particular lesson that you've really tried to instill in them.
[00:35:50] What they are fairly young. Your oldest is 12.
[00:35:54] She is. Yeah well she's almost 12.
[00:35:56] She's eleven but you know that answer could be anything right. With kids you'd be careful what you ask because they'll tell you all sorts of stuff. Exactly. So what would they say. I have no idea. Now what do I try to instill what are the lessons I try to like put in there.
[00:36:17] I just want my kids to be respectful. Right. I want them to do their best and I just want them to try.
[00:36:26] You know I think I think if they can just kind of master a few those little things. Those are the things that will help them through.
[00:36:36] You know. Yeah I think that is such an important lesson and we're really trying to do that is with our daughterC.C. that's in first grade. Is she the other day we were studying for her test as she would just grew tired of it. She just didn't want to practice her spelling words any longer.
[00:36:51] And she said to my husband while family and friends. That's really what's important. And she kept trying to argue this is an important family in France. That's what's most important. We said yes that is most important family. However school work is important. But it was just funny so we told her Listen you don't have to get 100 percent on this test tomorrow with your 30 spelling words. You just have to try your best. Yes. And every week we look at her scores and we say OK. Next. A little harder and just try to do a little bit better right. But I'm not going to push the hundred percent on my kids if they get them great but just try their best.
[00:37:30] Yeah and just encourage them. So that's a good one. Yeah. Try it what are your plans for your immediate future like what kind of plans here all around time.
[00:37:41] First of all let's talk about what you do for work right now.
[00:37:43] All right. So I run a store in north Phoenix and I sell safes and bolts and then we're a full service shop. So we deliver them for the customers will move them if they move from home to home or we'll service them if they're not working properly.
[00:37:59] Nice and G enjoy this.
[00:38:01] I do. I do. I like the physicality of it it kind of keeps me from just sitting at a desk all day right. That's one of those things I'm just not good at all right. Good at like sitting in a cubicle and having dudes you know punch out whatever on a key brightly. So I like the physical nature of my job. But truthfully the best part about every job is that people. Yeah. Right. And so every single day I interact with people and most of them are terrific. And I love the interaction I love getting to know people. And so that's that's for me one of the things that's very rewarding. How did you get into this work. Who knows. You ever wonder like how did this happen how did I get here. Yes. But I suppose a long story short.
[00:38:51] How do you tell that story. I don't know. I mean my mom's a second uncle is named Ray Crosby and through a series of events he approached me and asked me if I would come from Provo Utah here to Phoenix and then open up a store.
[00:39:08] So that's kind of asked how evolved and are you happy. Are you happy and has one your. Absolutely. It was hard to leave Utah. Oh yeah. Because that was where you were born and raised. You lived your whole life there except for your.
[00:39:23] You went on a mission a couple years on a mission in eastern Europe and then a year at college in Idaho. So that's that's the epicenter. But I can live anywhere. For me the location is not the big deal. The people are everything right. So as long as you can spend time with your with your people your family your friends. That's a big deal to me.
[00:39:43] Yeah you're definitely a people person. I feel like you could just strike up a conversation with anyone anywhere.
[00:39:49] Yeah that's true. And I you know that can be good and it can be bad all at the same time. You know our kids give both Candace and I a hard time because it doesn't matter where we go we talk to people right. And they're like just get in the car and let's go home. Stop talking to everybody.
[00:40:03] We just laugh our heads off and be patient and we think. Yeah. But you know what. They're going to end up being the same way. Most like I sure hope so. Most likely they we might turn them in the opposite direction they might just not want to talk to you might be near that extreme but maybe maybe it might be a problem.
[00:40:19] Has there been a time. Well we know this in school but outside of school and outside of your childhood. Has there been a time where your mouth has got you and has gotten you into trouble.
[00:40:28] Oh yeah. My mouth gets me in trouble all the time. I have I have no filter. That's one of my problems is like my I don't filter myself properly. My brain works slower than my mouth does.
[00:40:39] And so oftentimes the words are already out before I realize what I've said or how I've said it or who I said it to. And you just you just can't take it back. It's it's done. Are you comfortable sharing in an example.
[00:40:52] Oh man.
[00:40:53] I mean I have several you know I've asked Natalie you have seven of me while you show me not a you I'm talking about me.
[00:41:00] I have the same problem you have several years ago at work. I was having a little bit of an issue with a guy that I worked with and we were down at the the company cafeteria one morning and I met his brother. I didn't know he was his brother but I met him that day and he says oh you work. You work like with my brother. And I said yes. And this guy made a comment about his brother that was kind of disparaging. And I told him yeah you're right.
[00:41:30] He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and this guy was furious with me. And I feel like he kind of baited me a little bit. You know it wasn't fair that he would be able to say anything disparaging but I couldn't. But I didn't even think twice. And the next thing I knew I was in the middle of this fight with him because I just said it you know. Right. Things like that happen all the time.
[00:41:53] Yeah I know I have the same problem and I'm such a reactor and I tend to say things that I regret. Two minutes later and I just yeah.
[00:42:02] Sometimes I regret them. Usually I don't. And maybe that's just maybe that's a character flaw you know. But for the most part if I think it I say it. So you never have to worry about what do I think or how do I feel right. You probably know. Yeah. You always know where you stand with. Yes. And that might be a good thing but it might be a bad thing. Well you just always want to be on your good side. I suppose so. You know I try to be on my good side because when I'm not on my good side and that's my bad side do you tend to beat yourself up a lot.
[00:42:33] No I don't actually. I probably should more but I look at it and I say What's done is done you can't change it all right but what you can do is you can learn from it and you can try to improve in the future. You know so just like you do with CCI. Think OK I didn't do very great yesterday but today and tomorrow I can do better. Yeah. And as long as I'm trending in the right direction I'm really happy. And if I see that I'm in a heading in the wrong direction then I kind of have to sit down and take a minute and figure out what do I need to do to right the ship so to speak what do I need to do to change course.
[00:43:09] I feel like that's a very healthy perspective and outlook. Well I feel like you don't come off as cocky or arrogant but you just own your mistakes are on your own the good to right and you learn and you just try to do better. I just feels like a very healthy perspective to me. I approach I like it is right.
[00:43:27] I find that there are some people that they just can't get over. They're always stumbling over whatever their past mistakes were right. I have a really hard time identifying them. I do because I think I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. You know tons of them hopefully hopefully I've never made one of those mistakes that are so big that I can't recover from it. Right. Right. That's one of my fears is like don't ok make lots of little mistakes and learn but don't make big mistakes that are fatal.
[00:43:55] All right.
[00:43:58] But I don't think it does any good whatsoever to dwell on it. I think what the best approach would be is to understand why did you do what you did. You know what what kind of led up to it and then figure out what's the lesson in that. Right. And then just do better. You know exactly in my opinion some people get really down on themselves because they make mistakes but the whole purpose of life is to make them right. We have to make mistakes. And so why do why do we jump all over people when they make a mistake. You know you open up the news day and it's just about everybody making mistakes. And it's like well good. And they made mistakes. Now let's see what they do from here right. Yeah. So let's let's take something that might be considered negative and let's make it positive. You know let's all do better.
[00:44:46] All right. I feel like even just in the news and everyday life we tend to focus on just the bad and we don't take it that step further right.
[00:44:56] When we should be taking it a step further we would hope Brown were very quick and easy to get so hard to condemn.
[00:45:03] Yeah I know that's hard for me I watch it all the time. People are very quick and easy to condemn and that's not it's not fair.
[00:45:11] It's not fair and it's not healthy not healthy enough. And it's just a crummy way to live life.
[00:45:16] You know I had a customer in my store today. She was very very successful woman in her profession and her see the CEO of her company was indicted on fraud charges and convicted to 27 years in prison. OK. And it was the attorney general of New York that put him in prison and within a year later that attorney general himself was in prison. What are we doing. Right. Let's let's just help each other out. You know I'm not saying let's break a lot together but you know why are we always so quick to condemn because we condemn it and the next day we're the ones that are making mistakes.
[00:45:57] Well you know Cheryl that's an that's an interesting that's an interesting thought. There were quick to judge. Yes we are. And when we were full of imperfection full of them you know.
[00:46:10] Cast your first stone right. Right. I mean which one of us lives in a glass house.
[00:46:14] Right you're. Yeah.
[00:46:16] So growing up you worked hard and you said something earlier work hard play hard but you feel like it was a lot of work hard work hard but you ended up enjoying the work right because you're with your siblings. I think so. Do you have. Do you have a hobby. I mean as you've gotten older and come into your own and had kids. Do you have you incorporated that work hard play hard. And is there a certain hobby or something that you like to do in terms of play hard.
[00:46:42] Oh I mean we have lots of hobbies we love taking the boat to the lake. We love going out and hitting the trails on the razor. We love to go skiing and snowboarding. You know very outdoors very outdoorsy Qantas. Now we build furniture together. That's one of those those things that we do we're right in the middle of bunk beds right now. Our boys if you walk into my home almost every piece of furniture has been handmade.
[00:47:06] Wow. And you started that early on in your marriage. We did. I remember didn't you take a class at UVA you. Is that where you started or how did that start.
[00:47:14] Basically so when we first got married I said to cases and we need a hobby. You know we need to do something together it's gonna be our thing. And so we went through a whole list of like what should we do what could we do. And I said this is my suggestion. This is my submission because of something that I had done in the past. And so we. Well part of it too is out of necessity.
[00:47:33] We wanted furniture in our house. Right.
[00:47:35] And you're poor and we're newlyweds newlyweds you know we're living in a five hundred dollar a month apartment you know a terrific apartment by the way one of our favorite places of all time.
[00:47:46] But in order to get what we wanted we had to make it on our own. And so we would take community education classes through YouView and in essence we were just buying shop time at a discounted rate. And so we would go into the shop at YouView or at Provo High and we would use their shop to build whatever we wanted.
[00:48:07] And we built a lot of furniture that is really neat and then did over the years did you acquire a lot of the tools and now you just have your own shop. We basically have our own shop. How wonderful Have you ever considered starting a furniture company or turning this into a business.
[00:48:22] I have but that's a hard business to make it in. Yeah I know. And also I have this fear that it might ruin it if if if my livelihood is is based off of exploiting something that I have will I begin to resent it.
[00:48:38] Yeah absolutely it just kind of likes the magic away from me.
[00:48:40] Maybe I like to do it in my spare time and it's really need to take just a regular piece of lumber and turn it into something something beautiful and I've seen a lot of the furniture you've done in fact here at this very house where we have a studio you did that beautiful table.
[00:48:54] Yeah. Lisa's always telling me I need to just build those tables and people.
[00:48:57] I just did the table and success. Yeah. See. It's wonderful. OK. You mentioned your first apartment five hundred dollars a month. Yes. One of the favorite places you live. That reminded me of something my parents always talked about is when they were poor law school students at the University of Chicago no money. Two little boys. They were poor. Yeah. And they said that some of their favorite memories. Yeah. They didn't have a lot but they just really spent a lot of time together and just there was something magical about that time. And it's such a valuable lesson that it doesn't take a lot to truly be happy.
[00:49:33] I agree. I agree. Some of the wealthiest people that I meet are the most unhappy people.
[00:49:41] Yeah. And lonely nights say yes lonely Absolutely. I'm not saying that that's like a prerequisite to being wealthy but. Oh absolutely. I find that oftentimes when we meet somebody you know we ask a lot of questions about whether they were right. Although I just assumed assumes right. Yeah exactly. But nobody ever asks you Are you happy are you happy.
[00:50:02] Right. Right. But I think that sometimes in those moments when you don't have much you're thankful for what you do have. Right. And if you get caught up on the the getting more than that's where your focus is and I think in that and then it's never enough and then that drive there it'll never be enough. There's always more to be had. You can never have it all. It's impossible. Yeah. What next. What now. That's right. That's right. But just being happy with where you are. Right. Being happy in the moment. There's something very healthy in that. Absolutely.
[00:50:35] And I feel like just nowadays in society even just kids today have a lot more than we had as kids. Yes. I mean I look back at my childhood I couldn't even imagine having a tablet with access to me. You know what I mean and just it was just so different back then and so much more simple. Yes. Granted I lived in a very small town and I feel like I had maybe a little different of an experience just being where I was. But even you in Provo and that wasn't too small of a town. But you just don't have as much that you use your imagination a lot more and you were out and you had to. You had to be creative and come up with the games and you know I think that's one of the ways that today we missed the boat.
[00:51:20] I think that's one of those things that we should do for our kids is to help them simplify. Right. Because I think that is we help them simplify it. It will benefit them in the future. I think by having so much stimuli if you will that probably has issues that probably will create issues that relating to like attention span focus and whatnot. Right yeah.
[00:51:43] Just so much and there's a lot of great things too about you know there's a lot of wonderful things that our kids have today that we did not have. Yes. You know there's it's just it's tough because there's good and bad. So we've just got to try to find the good and hone in on that.
[00:51:59] But I like it when they just put all the electronics down and go play. Yeah. Everybody else I'd go play tackle. You know that's one of my punishments actually as funny as that sounds. But when the kids are being crazy and they just can't quite get settled down and I'm take a lap and they go out and like run around a block and then they come back and they're loading dock you know.
[00:52:15] Yeah it's so good. But that's a good punishment. Healthy. Yeah. Like burn some steam off you know. Right. That's good instead of the wooden spooners fly swatter. Try not to use a fly swatter. You know I try not to use a wooden spoon and I try to try to keep that in the back pocket. Case I really truly that's why you bring out the big guy. Yeah yeah. That's when you know you're really in trouble.
[00:52:33] OK. Talk to me about your mom as a grandma. Has it been fun to see her as a grandma versus a mom and how different has that been for you to watch.
[00:52:44] Oh it's wonderful because I don't see her like punishing the grandkids. You know she one of the funnest things for me is to watch like as an example my daughter Addie I love watching her with my mom because they get in the kitchen and she passes on these secrets you know. How do you how do you make noodles or how do you make a pie or how do you make of this or that and Adi gets in there and puts her little apron on and they just go to work and it's just this just like it's that one on one time. That's amazing.
[00:53:14] And you know your mom is an absolute heaven in a kitchen Sherry but with her granddaughter teaching her granddaughter Yeah it was so fun when we did Wanda's pantry so we we called our cooking group Wanda's pantry Wanda was our grandmas name and we even have the cutest cookbooks with our face on it but it was so much fun to watch your mom in the kitchen at wanda's pantry. Ed she took a serious. Yes she did. She loved it. She prepared for you guys. She would Yeah but US halls we all have a tendency to talk about quite dark times and chatter chatter chatter and you get all these millions side conversations.
[00:53:49] And Christine and Christine never missed a what was found Gerri because she was always there front and center. But she's one of the ones that cha cha cha and then me Jack Jack Jack and I it would just be funny because your mom was serious and she did not like it when she was high when it was time to start cooking she won everybody say let's focus focus which rightfully so but it was just it always took us a little while to get started because we're all just chatter chatter chats one of the best things in the world.
[00:54:17] Oh yeah. Your mom was your mom was loving it too but she was just so excited to teach us beds. I've mastered her cherry pie.
[00:54:26] I love that. And yeah best cherry pie in the world. It is. Yes. In fact I get a lot of compliments when I make that as well you should. Yes she's quite fantastic.
[00:54:36] Now what's funny is that you talk about how we all chitchat. I remember as a kid this is before phones didn't have like they were before their cordless right. Yeah. Our phone and our kitchen had like a 30 foot long cord on it. So my mom could talk on the phone and walk all over the house and do what she needed to to do. I had this giant cord. I'd never seen a cord so long. Yeah. And then one year for Christmas my dad got her a cordless phone and then she could walk all over the house and talk on the phone.
[00:55:07] That was a game changer. Big time. Interested. And now look at the cell phone. She probably doesn't even have a home phone.
[00:55:12] No phone. The other the Beck family home phone was discontinued like a year or two ago.
[00:55:16] Was it really. 3 8 7 8 4 7 8 6 4 7 4 2 9 8 14 9 3 7 7 8 4 2 9. Close close yeah. That's awesome. Oh I have fond memories of you and your family. Honestly one final question where was your first kiss my first kiss was Grandview Elementary.
[00:55:38] I was like first grade I think. So your cousin Julie was not the first to get something like a baby it was not the first kiss in the shed in the backyard.
[00:55:47] I just thought as that wasn't that you and Julie had shared a kiss. Kissing cousins how old were you.
[00:55:53] I have no idea I was little I was probably 18 or 20 something that let.
[00:55:57] Are you sitting. No. I don't know. We were we were little. I remember that year family was getting ready to go back home.
[00:56:07] And I was like I'm gonna miss you or whatever right.
[00:56:09] Like we just all in this latest shelter and I'm sure it was just also innocent but that was that's just kind of running joke I remember that I love David really on the bang and beans on the show.
[00:56:19] You know Julie was in a position of authority and you know she basically said to me you know she took advantage of me because she has more she's older than I am. So and I was just an innocent kid but I didn't know that was the case until all these many years later when I went all this like me to movement is coming I hope that we're gonna get ourselves in trouble we might get ourselves in trouble but. But you know Charlie's consent before Yeah that one that that might have to edit out a little bit. But she and Julie's terrific.
[00:56:52] I saw her at the airport the other day and it was every time I see her just finally catch up but she's a terrific kisser.
[00:57:04] But that is one of those stories that is true and it will always be there.
[00:57:09] Okay one last story while we're on this just because this has fun reminiscing so our grandpa was in charge of a ranch in bySt. John's. And it was a ranch owned by the church. Yes. And it was a charity. Yeah essentially right. And it was in a way I mean you know it's a welfare Yeah for a ranch.
[00:57:29] He did it by assignment. This is the crazy part. I didn't know that until I was probably in my late teenage years.
[00:57:35] I thought it was his job. Yeah I did too I always thought it was his job as well. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Anyway so we all learn how to drive at a very young age. I mean we lived inSt. John's. My sisters and I were still my parents cars and we were like 10. Driving all overSt. John's. Yeah. One time Grandpa called us and said girls stay on the back roads because he had seen us. That's for you on the back roads. My parents would be in the valley here for the weekend and leave my older brother's taking care of us. But anyway one time your sister Alison was driving the truck on the ranch and Tricia and I were in the back seat. And Alison just got going and lost control somehow and the truck started swerving and Tricia and I bounced right out of that truck. Yeah yeah.
[00:58:19] And Alison gotten so much trouble. Yes I think she actually swerved off of the dirt road away into the culvert. Yes that's right. You guys off.
[00:58:29] Yeah. No I think there were a few others of us there too. Jenny may have been there but man good memories. Such great memories. You think about it in that kind of. And we did not get hurt by the way. True. Maybe burst up a little bit.
[00:58:44] Number one it's a miracle that none of us died. Oh absolutely sure trench. Oh yeah. The things that we did. That's a miracle. But you think back and Grandpa would take you and throw you in the driver's seat. Ten years or twelve years old and I still remember the first time that I ever drove we pulled off of the highway onto the road that goes into the church ranch and he just pulled over and he said All right.
[00:59:11] It's your turn. And I was like Oh great. I'm going to I'm going to reconstruct. There was no way I'm going to do this. And as I would like swerve back and forth trying to stay on the road he just said just act like you're sitting in the middle of the road you're just fine. You know just calm as could be. And I'm thinking Grandpa we're going to die. But he would. He just had that thing about him that you know there was just that calmness but that confidence that like you can do this. Go go do it you know Yeah yeah it's pretty neat.
[00:59:41] Very neat very neat. Well Dave this has been so much fun diving in. I feel like we need a whole another session gestured on memories. We'll revisit this is will be terrific we will. We will have a follow up s episode with Dave but it's been a joy seeing you. Thank you so much for making the trek from the other side of the town. Yeah and let's continue this off. He's got it all right Jeff. We're done.